Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
