I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize