2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Randomize
