I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Randomize