But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I didn't shave. On purpose
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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