i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
