For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Randomize
