so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
