Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
