I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize