i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
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