I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
