Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
