this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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