let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Randomize
