I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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