He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
