I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
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