quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
