I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
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