We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
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Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
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Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
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