First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I supernannyed him into submission
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Randomize
