lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
