coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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