i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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