Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
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