Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Randomize
