So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
