I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
