Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
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Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
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Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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