I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
