They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Randomize