Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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