And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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