A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
