hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Randomize
