So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I don't deserve a penis
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Randomize
