i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
