I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
