it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
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