this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
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