Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
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