It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
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