You made me cry and you don't even care
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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