I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Randomize
