Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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