He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Randomize
