Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
