I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
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