im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
It's never too late to be topless.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
