my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
