I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Randomize
