I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
