Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Randomize
