What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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