from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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