im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
being pregnant is like rehab
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize
