i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
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