I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
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