Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
