Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
Randomize
