dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I lost the right to judge tonight
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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