who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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